Biggest Mistake I Ever Made - Learn From Me, People!

Our school offers this amazing program where you simply write a check for your children's school supplies and then a magic fairy delivers them to the school all organized and wrapped in a pretty bow. Sure it might be a little more expensive but the extra money goes to the PTA for enrichment programs for the school.  It is a win win!

It's possible the magic fairy part isn't true - I can't say for sure as I haven't seen her but after my experience of buying supplies on my own I am almost 100% positive that must be how it happens.

Last year when the order form came out for this school year I thought: "hmmm. I'm no longer working therefore I can totally take the time to purchase school supplies on my own.  The kids will get to feel the excitement of picking out their own colors for folders and such. It will be a great memory for us all and I will save money and it will be blissful and it will probably solve world peace too!"

And it was a lot like that, but exactly the opposite.  I should have known it was going to be a horrifying experience when on the first trip out it took 33 minutes - no lie - for my daughter to pick out her wide ruled notebook.  If I had to tell her one more time when she found the perfect one! "Sorry honey it's college ruled. Keep looking" I was going to unwrap the spiral binding and use it to poke my eyes out. Alas, we did find one she could tolerate.  We walked out of Walgreens feeling somewhat successful (until I realized later we bought blunt tip scissors and not sharp tip.  D'oh!)

After that trip I never again walked out of a store feeling like I had accomplished anything positive. With each passing journey I questioned my parenting skills and sanity more and more.  But 5 separate trips to 5 separate school supply selling hell holes and about $8,366 later we did have everything on the list - well kind of...

Part of my genius plan was to save money. Let me tell you that does NOT happen if you take a 2 year old with you.  Who has time to compare prices of 463 Elmer glue sticks s vs. 463 Target brand glue sticks when you are chasing a toddler who apparently has an allergic reaction to being strapped into a shopping cart?  Somehow having managed to get a box of yogurt from the refrigerated section and sneaking it to the school supply section he was happily pulling every stapler off the shelf so he could stick the yogurt behind them.  Guess what? I don't care if the Elmer's Glue sticks are eleventy million dollars more than the others - just grab them so we can get out of here!

Other things that might or might not have been happened:

Kid: "Mom, is this $20 Trapper Keeper good?"  Me: "Um, sure yeah, looks great. ALEX! Stop eating erasers and put those sunglasses back - wait where did you find sunglasses?  They are nowhere near this section!  Oh God, did you steal someone's sunglasses?"  (Come to find out later, we got the wrong Trapper Keeper.  Oh and I never figured out where those sunglasses came from.  If you were at Target on Ward Parkway and a short little blond fellow stole your sunglasses, they are in the office supply section by the dry erase markers.  Sorry!)

I might have spent $70 at Walmart and not have found 1 single school supply that was left on our list.

I might have had more than 1 discussion on what color folder is more grown up and acceptable in 4th grade but also not too grown up because after all she is still a kid and has lots of years to buy folders in grown up colors.  Huh?

I might have taken a flask with me.

I might have tried to save money on pencils for my son's list by not buying the Ticonderoga brand and realized they were not pre-sharpened when we got home and then paid him $3 to sharpen them and ended up spending way more than I would have if I had just bought the freaking Ticonderoga ones.

I might have gone into the bathroom to "change a diaper" three times in one trip. Note: "change a diaper" = cry.

I might have accidentally purchased 2 boxes of gallon sized zip lock bags instead 1 box of gallon and 1 box of some other stupid size and when I realized my mistake not cared in the slightest.  I'm sorry teachers - you guys do an amazing job and I know I'm a jerk for not caring but at that point I wouldn't have cared if my hair was on fire.

Our last supply run was my favorite. (I still never found the correctly tipped dry erase board pen.  Let me tell you the amount of sleep I'm losing over that one.) As we were walking through Office Max, I turned to my kids and made them promise that next year when I think it is a good idea to shun the school supply fairy they will kick me in the head.

That request elicited giggles from the aisle over as our former PTA president, who is also my friend, walked out from behind an end cap of 717 colors of post it notes and said, "I am so glad I was here to hear that!"  I'm glad she was too.  She is taller than my kids and might actually be able to reach my head.

The Hills magazine

Check out my most recent article in the Hills magazine!

The Hills - Helen Jon Article

Starts on page 21

I love writing these articles!  How lucky am I to get to meet super cool people and see their beautiful homes?  Most recently I had the honor of interviewing Henry Bloch, the "H" in H&R Block.  It was awesome! Stay tuned for that article.

Nom Nom

My husband's company, Liquid9, has been rocking it this week!  First they had Ad Age's Ad of the day and now today their most recent commercial is the leading story on spin.com!

I guess all the traveling he has been doing this summer is for good reason.  All's forgiven!

Here is the most recent video:

Boyz II Men Wendy's spot

The salon experience

Before two 9 year olds painted my nails

After

Honestly I thought there would be WAY more paint on my fingers.  Not too shabby.

Wendy's commercial

Check out the latest commercial my husband directed.

Hilarious.



Pretzel Love Songs

Pancake perfection

Have you ever made a pancake in your rice cooker?  Before this morning I would have likened that question with someone asking if I steam broccoli in my toilet. However, I tried this (not going to try the broccoli thing) and it rocks. The way I make pancakes has forever been changed. 

I saw a Facebook post about this cooking method. Usually when I see an idea like that I think, "Wow that looks like fun. I should do that sometime!" - then I'm distracted by something shiny and the idea dies there. I actually followed through with this one and did it within like a half an hour too.  Freaking miracle, I tell ya!

I combined my pancake mix with it's necessary ingredients, dumped it all in my rice cooker, pressed "cook" and left it.  A few minutes later Mr. rice cooker beeped to let me know my perfect pancake was ready for consumption. Note, I am not a food photographer or stylist. Clearly...

The kids thought it was fun, it tasted great and it was kind of pretty!  Apparently there are all sorts of crazy things you can do with your rice cooker. I might have found a new hobby.

Idle time

We had an appraiser come by this morning as we are planning to do some remodeling and therefore are seeking a home equity line of credit.  Blah, blah boring.  Anyway, because she was coming by, my house is in serious tip top shape.  That, coupled with the baby sleeping, the big sister at a friend's house and middle child contentedly reading a Diary of a Wimpy Kid book - I found myself with NOTHING to do.  It was weird.

So I decided to make a 4th of July "wreath" for our front door.  This took about 10 minutes to complete and let's be honest, it looks like it took about 10 minutes to complete.  But it makes my door look less lonely and took up some brain power for a few minutes.

Please ignore those things that look like bullet holes in our door.  They aren't that - well at least I don't think so...

Loving on groceries

Man, it's been a busy few weeks!  Why are the last weeks of school so darn crazy?  Also, how is it that school has been out for 1 week today but it already seems like it has been an entire month?

But having nothing to do with that, my almost 20 month old has the weirdest habit!  Most of the weird things he does I think, "Oh yeah, been there done that.  One of the other kids did that too" - but with this one, I'm not sure any other kid on the planet has done.  If they have let me know and maybe we can start a support group.

Baby crazy pants throws an absolute fit if he cannot hug every single item I put into the grocery cart. 

As you can imagine this proves quite challenging for some items I purchase:

1) Bread, buns and things of that sort.  Why does he hug these much harder than anything else I purchase?  Probably because they are squishy and "hug" back? I have many many bags of crumbled hot dog buns currently residing in my pantry.  The geese at the park are going to LOVE us!

2) Chicken, meat, etc - plain and simple I am not going to give my kid salmonella just so he won't scream.  I apologize to all other shoppers within ear shot.

3) Frozen items - they are cold and then he screams, I don't give them to him and he screams.      Lose, lose situation there.  

4) Glass bottled items - he has a penchant for throwing the item on the ground after he has loved it within an inch of it's life.  Fortunately I figured that out before we sent some poor unsuspecting shopper to the hospital.

This week he upped his game to wanting to kiss the items. 

Where does this go next???

Good thing he is cute.

My 9 year old daughter is a hoarder

Our daughter's room isn't huge and so she had the great idea of getting a loft bed so as to make more space for herself.  We had the genius idea to listen to her.

I just went up there to change her sheets - which by the way is the biggest pain on the planet.

OH MY LORD. Here is an inventory of what I found:

Note - I am known for exaggeration.  i.e. "I had a million things go do today!" or "Literally I wet my pants because I was laughing so hard" - neither of those statements would be true.  This list below sadly is the honest to God's truth.

27 stuffed animals (granted they were varying sizes, some tiny, but still that is insane)
5 socks
a trash can (clean fortunately but wtf???) filled with 13 books
8 other books strewn about
1 body pillow
1 regular pillow
a sleeping bag case -not the sleeping bag, just the case it goes in
7 water bottles. SEVEN!  Photographic evidence below

3 sleep masks
1 flashlight

Where is there actually room for her in this bed?

Mark my words, this child will be on a future episode of Hoarders and will have dead cats buried under 11 years of newspapers. This is a problem.

Resposibility and riding a bike

My daughter learned to ride a bike about a year ago. I haven't seen her since - anyone know where she is???  Not really, but she LOVES hopping on and riding to her freedom and I think it is wonderful.  However, we have learned that with the privilege of riding a bike comes some responsibility on the part of the parent and the child.

1) Look at your child before they leave

My kids know they are to always wear their helmets.  It is never an argument, it is not uncool to wear one.  It just isn't anything.  However sometimes (often/all the time/constantly) kids forget things.  A few weeks ago my daughter was 1/2 way down the driveway when I saw that she didn't have on her helmet. I pointed that out, she put it on and was on her way. The oversight was a complete accident on her part. Not 10 minutes later she had a major wreck by running into a trash can.  She was pretty scraped up and even cracked her helmet.  Thank goodness I had caught a glimpse of her riding off without her helmet.  Who knows how injured she could have been if she had not been wearing it.

Also check to ensure they are wearing proper shoes for riding and proper clothes - nothing super loose and flowy that could get caught up in the spokes.

2) Map out their routes

Hop on a bike and ride the routes with them.  Riding it yourself is the only way you will know what kind of road/riding conditions they may encounter. Pick specific points they they are allowed to venture to.

3) Watch your time

A few days ago  I told my daughter not to be gone long.  What does that mean to a 9 year old?  Apparently 2 hours.  I was in such a panic by the time she got home (and after I drove the neighborhood for a 1/2 hour looking for her) that I cannot even tell you. She had been having fun at her friend's house and just didn't realize that much time had passed.

Now, before she leaves, she puts on a watch and I show her specifically when she is expected home. Bonus - she is getting much better at reading a watch!

4) Text me!

The scary situation a few days ago could have been avoided if the adult at the house where she was playing had texted me and let me know she was there. So simple.  A quick text when she gets there and a quick text when she leaves.

Super easy things to do and now we can all just relax and enjoy the freedom she has gained from riding a bike. Happy Summer!

Milestones

Our little guy is 18 months old - will be 19 months in about a week.  This has been a big month for him.  He has hit some pretty major milestones.

1) He got his first haircut.  Aww.

2) He FINALLY learned to walk.  What is with my kids? It cannot have anything to do with the fact that I push them down every time they try and walk, could it?  Wait, ahem, no I don't do that.

3) He was involved in his first robbery. Can't wait to write it in his baby book!

Oh is that not normal for most 18 month olds?  Or most people in general???? Ugh.  He and I were at Aldi minding our own business buying cheap groceries and boom.  Well not boom, that would be have been much more scary.  But all of a sudden a dude walks in, holds up the cashier shaking a gun in her face, grabs the money and runs out of the store.

Everyone was completely fine, albeit a bit shaken.  Guess it is back to paying for full priced groceries for us.

Throw up Thursday

Okay I realize Throw Up Thursday isn't a thing and let's make sure it doesn't catch on.  But I didn't have any #tbt photo to show so I thought I would show these which make me want to vomit.

1) My sweet babykins is growing up and I hate it.  First haircut yesterday.  He looks so old and it makes my stomach hurt.  We HAD to get his haircut because we were about 10 minutes from someone calling CPS on us.  With hair as bad as his he could have been scarred for life.

BEFORE

  

AFTER

Next up on the docket for Throw Up Thursday:

No it is not my son's sub par handwriting that is offensive here (although that is an issue). It is the fact that the school gave him a worksheet that has incorrect grammar.  There is no reason the eagle should have an apostrophe "s"  The worksheet came this way and had several instances like this.  Really, this is what we are teaching our children?

Busy Busy Me

The reason for this blog is two fold.

1) It's fun to chronicle the things in my life.  I love going back and reading all the terrible things my children and husband have done to me.  I put up with a lot around here folks.  They should have a telethon for me or something.

2) Since I no longer am employed, I am working on getting paid to write.  I know what you are thinking, who would pay this lady to write?  But people actually do.  Weird, I know.  I use the blog as a place where I send potential paying people to read my writing style.

With that being said, there are days or weeks where my family behaves perfectly normally and I don't have much to write about.  This is one of those weeks.  This is also one of those weeks where I wonder how it is that I am so much busier now than I ever was when I was working???

I have an article due tomorrow. Sunday is Easter.  My daughter has a report due this week. My son had a report due on Monday.  Tuesday was tax day. I have 96 piles of laundry that need to be done.  Friday is large item trash day (favorite day of the year by the way!) so I have got to find time to get in my garage and throw out assorted items like 456 random pieces of wood, a lazy boy chair that was left with the house when we bought it, a large screen door with a hole in it and many, many more treasures I am sure. Yeah, yeah I'm so busy, blah, blah, blah - I get it. It's annoying when people complain about how busy they are. Everyone is.  I'll stop. 

The reason I mention this is that there are just going to be some weeks that not a lot of blogging gets done and this is apparently one of them.  That's all I've got.  Have a lovely day.

TBT

The video from this blog post I wrote, almost 4 years ago, just kills me every time I see it.

It's really ridiculously adorable. Check it out here.

Here is that same cutie now - a month from being 7 - all grown up and knowing his ABC's and such. #itsgoingtoofast

The third child

Our first two children are a respectable 2 1/2 years apart.  One girl, one boy.  We were in our early 30's when we had them.  Life was good and all Beaver Cleaver-y.

Right about the time we were prepping our youngest for kindergarten we said, "Heck, who needs freedom? We should have ANOTHER baby. Yessss, let's do that! Free time is for sissies!"

Don't get me wrong, we adore this child.  I mean who wouldn't want to look at this face daily?

And clearly Baby Alex was meant to be part of our family.  The first two were a bit difficult to get.  Several years of trying and some very minor medical intervention finally brought them into our lives. This kid? One conversation and a bottle of wine later - voila! A month shy of 8 years after our daughter and 5.5 years after our son, we welcomed bambino #3.

Looking back, before polishing off that bottle we should have thought about a few things - and in all fairness to you, babykins, before you clambered into my womb we should have had you read/sign/date the rules about taking the 3rd place child position in this family.

On our end:

1) In many cases in order to have another baby you have to be pregnant again.  Maybe you out there in blog land are those people who had rosy cheeks and a darling little round belly when you were pregnant. If so, please keep that to yourself. I wasn't. I'm pregnant everywhere. Even my earlobes looked like they were expecting and that all happened within 20 or 30 minutes of conception.

2) I'm not particularly looking forward to that awkward moment at Kindergarten Round Up when the regular aged moms will have this dialogue in their heads "Hmmm I wonder if that little boy lives with his grandparents? Or maybe his parents work and his grandmother watches him during the day? Wait, no, hold on mayyybeee that's his mom? Hmmmm, can't tell what is going on there."

Since this will be my third time through Kindy Round Up, instead of listening, I will be drunk busily scanning the room for a parent I could have not given birth to. 

3) I predict having a child in each of the schools around town (elementary, middle and high school) at the same time won't be quite as glamorous as it sounds. 

On your end:

1) Dora the Explorer, Barney and Thomas the Train are out. Love you oodles buddy but I physically CANNOT hear "Swiper NO swiping!" one more time. It's been years since I've heard that phrase first hand and I just cannot envision a world in which I go back to it.

Since you are third you are dead last in line for the remote.  Your viewing choices will lie somewhere in between teen angst shows with your brother and sister that will be way over your head, Real Housewives of somewhere that is probably under your head and sports with dad.  I'd say the last option is your best. Just know we usually banish daddy to the dingy basement so your viewing experience might not be the most pleasurable.

2) On that note, Pump it Up birthday parties and Gymboree music classes are also a no go.  Sorry, been there/done that/not doing it again.

3) I suggest you get really interested in Spiderman and Lego Star Wars. We have spent enough money to buy a small Volkswagen on those toys and I can't see myself excited about purchasing/housing new stuff. They are all boxed up and anxiously awaiting your enjoyment. If you have an issue with this, I'd recommend taking it up with Santa Claus. (NOTE: Disregard if golf is your thing.  There is literally no cap on what dad will spend on golf equipment. I've seen it with my own eyes.)

Luckily for you I don't push gender stereotypes on my kids so feel free to have a thing for My Little Pony and American Girl dolls because I have a bunch of that crap boxed up as well.

4) Lastly, I realize you aren't yet 2 and that you currently aren't even walking (what is up with that by the way?) but you need to go ahead and decide which sport you plan to focus on.  None of this testing every sport known to mankind from soccer to skeet shooting over the course of 4 years to make a decision.  Let's get this show on the road. (NOTE: Sadly, baseball won't be your thing. This is based on extensive scientific research that has proven that the baseball fields are just too damn far away for me to drive to.)

Sweet baby, lest you think I'm sounding a bit negative I'd like to point out that birthing you really close to an age that begins with a 4 vs. one that starts with a 2 or 3 wasn't all bad.  Aside from the fact that you are unnaturally adorable, there are some other positives I found when having my later in life baby:

1) Being pregnant at an AMA (Advanced Maternal Age for you pups out there who had kids before you were middle aged) is kind of awesome.  You get test after test, ultrasound after ultrasound, doctor appointment after doctor appointment.  That, coupled with seriously in-depth genetic counseling that led to discussions about my uncle twice removed's proclivity to in-grown toe nails, gave us a pretty good idea that you weren't going to be born with an arm protruding out of your ear.

2) The day will come when your brother and sister realize we aren't as hilarious/brilliant/cool as they originally thought we were (I'm beginning to get signals that that day is reeeallly close) - but you will still think we are awesome.  Then right about the time you don't find it amazing that I car dance in front of your friends, the older two will have looped back around to liking us again. It's actually kind of genius on our part.

3) Finally, when my friends are crying that their babies are in college and they are sad empty nesters, your dad and I will still have many, many, many (sigh) years with a little one at home.

In conclusion, to make up for all the "no's" you will hear along the way because I might be completely uninterested in doing what it is that you asked, I do promise you more love than you can imagine, hundreds of family dog piles on dad, snuggles galore and a boatload of laughs.


Tell me, what did you get lazy about as you had more kids?

Rhea Lana addict

Hi, my name is Robin and I am a Rhea Lana addict.

In the beginning it was pretty harmless. My first time, I just happened upon the Rhea Lana sale in the old Macy's Home Store in the Prairie Village shops.  I got some great bargains, ran into a few friends - a good time was had by all.

Over the next few years I continued to shop the sale as it got bigger and bigger and I always left pleased with the great stuff I scored.  All was kosher, life was good. I was naive.

About a year and a half ago my friend Alisha convinced me to become a consignor and that is when things took a serious turn.

My addiction starts out innocently enough each time. Throughout the year as I put laundry away no one really notices the shirt or two I nonchalantly stick into the Rhea Lana labeled bucket at the back of their closet.  About a month ahead of the sale is when things really start to ramp up.  Those buckets come out, our living room is taken hostage by me and I iron/tag/bundle/ziploc items like a mad woman.  Drop off day is my super bowl and I feel like I've lost ten pounds when I drive out of the warehouse free of boat loads of Polly Pockets and girls dresses size 4 - 6.

Life actually resumes as normal for a day or so

and then

ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE

Rhea Lana Opening Day
Phone must be 1,000% charged (yes I do know that is impossible) at noon on Day 1 of the sale. Oh how I will have a love/hate relationship with my phone over the next few days.

This is pretty typical of how it goes each sale:

12:03 PM - Check my phone for instant update on sales.  At this point I do realize there in 0% chance I have sold anything considering the sale has been open for only 3 minutes but what if???  Nope. Nada. My account is in the red $9.00.

12:17 - Check again.  Nothing.  Make a vow to myself not to be so ridiculously obsessive this time about checking my sales.  After all, I do have 3 kids and other things to do with my time.

12:38 - Fail at said vow.  Still nothing.  What the heck??? Why have I not made eleventy million dollars yet?

12:39 - 1:30 - Busy myself with silly things like laundry and mopping the floor.

1:31 - Steal a look at my phone. I'm about to have a melt down, why has no one purchased that adorable striped H&M dress?  There HAS got to be a little girl out there who seriously needs a Hello Kitty cell phone and matching sunglasses set. Apparently the boys in this town do not like Legos anymore?

2:11 - Refresh phone.  Still zilch.  We are at a level orange threat here.  What if I screwed something up and there was a computer glitch and ALL my stuff really wasn't entered? Is this a dream??                                                                                                   I. CANNOT. HANDLE. THIS.

I need to get a grip.

The next few hours are a blur of picking the baby up from Mother's Day Out, getting the big kids from school, running various children around town to soccer practices at two different locations, distractedly talking to other parents about who knows what (I sort of remember someone one saying something about world hunger, blah, blah, blah - people do you not understand that I have 6 Old Navy bathing suits that will not be sold if I do not check my phone at this precise moment? This is a real problem.) Amazingly I hold strong in not peeking at my sales. There are two reasons for this:

1) It is seriously unsafe to be engross myself in my phone when I'm driving like 80 children in my car 

2) I know the pay off will be huge if I can just hold off for a few hours and let the sales pile up

4:22 - I'm home, older children are where they need to be, baby is munching on veggie straws. Time to check. I'm trembling as I swipe the green bar across my phone.

WOO HOO!  We're in the money! We're in the money!
The most beautiful words I've ever seen are before me: Congratulations! Your 70% share of Total Sales is $10.90!

You have never seen a human being so happy to have made $11.00. I have paid my $9 fee AND am in the black now.  It's smooth sailing from here people.  I'm elated and my blood pressure returns to a level that is no longer hospital worthy.

Dinner gets started and kids come home from soccer and I walk around with a stupid grin on my face. Homework is being worked on and the baby is contentedly playing with a soccer ball. With everyone preoccupied I get really lost in my phone at this point.

What items sold? Oh great the adorable sailor outfit is gone (hmmm maybe I'm sad about that.  Baby was so cute in it. Should I have sold that or should I have kept it for his kids?) - wait but why oh why has no one purchased the Spider Man computer?  Do they not know what a great deal it is? What is going on people???

A funky smell pulls me out of my spell.  Oh it's the baby. It would be a whole lot easier to feed my addiction if you could change yourself, kid.  Fine I will take a break and change your diaper.  There, done.  Now back to my phone - oh my gosh I made $4.70 during that diaper break. Awesome. Now what was it that sold?

Again, I'm lost in my Rhea Lana la la land...

What is that you say, children?  Our house is on fire?  Yes, we should call 911 and get out. Give me just one tiny second to refresh my browser. Score! The Barbie purse has sold! Alrighty, everyone stop, drop and roll. 

6:07 - Firemen let us back in the house, kids get fed, homework is completed, baths are taken and people go to bed (and let's be honest phone was checked no less than 346 times).

With everyone's needs taken care of I finally get a chance to really be one with my sales.  I decide to switch to my computer because the screen is bigger and I can really dig into what has/has not sold.

My husband gives up on me and goes downstairs to watch a movie as I spend my evening furiously texting back and forth with my friends Alisha and Lindsey. We feel the need to update one another every 7 1/2 minutes on what has sold, how much we have made and our predictions for what tomorrow will bring.

I go to bed at 10:00 and dream of the sales I will wake up to in the morning because I know the check out line is still long and every person in it has at least one of my items in their laundry basket turned shopping cart.

4:17 AM  - huge thunder clap! I'm up, might as well check my sales.  Oh yeah!! I made $6.30 while I slept! How productive were you while you were sleeping, huh?

Day 2
See Day 1 - same thing different day

Day 3, 4, 5
And so on and so forth

Alisha's husband suggested we go to Rhea Lana-hab so we can detox after this. Yeah, not gonna happen I'm too busy attacking those closets for Fall items.

My name is Robin and I'm a Rhea Lana addict and I'm okay with that.

Harry S. Truman 3rd grade report

My daughter has her very first report due tomorrow.

Check it out, it's quite informative. I think you will learn a lot.

My Chevron chair makeover is famous!

The chair makeover I showed you last week has been featured on Better After!  Yay! Go check it out.

Lindsey's hilarious blog features amazing furniture transformations. I love it and get lots of inspiration from it.

Thanks for writing about my chiar Lindsey!

Annie Sloan Chalk Paint Rules Again

My daughter was in great need of a desk chair.  I wanted something cute but affordable.  I've looked a million times but everything I was finding (that I liked) cost more than I wanted to spend on a 9 year old's chair.

After about a year of this it occurred to me, last weekend, to make my own chair.  Um, hello remember how I just went on and on like 2 posts ago about how I have a million chairs lying around? Yeah I'm not really quick, I get that.

In addition to the 1,000 chairs we have from my parents old dining set, we have chairs from my in- laws old dining set, so I used one of those.  Apparently we are the chair dumping ground.

Below are the before and afters.  Note my arty photo in number 2, pretty cool, huh?   Okay the actual truth is that the baby took the phone from me at that point and took the photo.  When I looked at it I thought it looked arty so I told you I did it as I have sub par photography skills and I wanted to look cool. Apparently my 17 month old is better with a camera that me.  But he can't walk and I totally can, so ha!

I think it's pretty cute and my daughter adores it! I'm just loving the Annie Sloan chalk paint.  It is so easy to use (no sanding, yay!!!) and it goes really far.  I've done two chairs thus far and I've used maybe 1/4 of the can.  Everything in my house is going to be light blue if I'm not careful.

My only issue with this paint is it is not easy to find.  You need to google it to find places near you that carry it.  The places in Kansas City aren't all that close to me so it is a trek to go get some. But I'd much rather be in my car singing my heart out to the radio for 20 minutes to get this glorious paint than have to sand a piece of furniture, so it's all good. I'm not mad at you Annie Sloan chalk paint.

The fist day of spring, Norman Rockwell kind of stuff here

Just a boy, his beer and his dog.

Note: No babies drank any beer in the making of this photo -  although he tried. Fortunately it was already happily sitting in mommy's tummy.

TBT

In this completely schizo blog I will discuss house decor at times.  I fancy myself an incredibly amateur (and let's be honest, incompetent) designer.   

Today, in honor of Throw Back Thursday, I am going to bring an old blog to back to life for like 7 minutes. It was a short lived diary about our money pit.  I learned that writing about decor costs money and I ran out of that quickly.

I'm a Throw Back Thursday virgin and decided to jump on the band wagon way after everyone else has.  I'm super cool like that. So if you are having trouble falling asleep, check out sad, old ignored blog and you can enjoy hard hitting stories like Blankets, a 2 part series and Inexpensive Window Covering Options

In honor of the old bloggy blog I also wanted to show you a chair makeover I recently did using Annie Sloan chalk paint for the first time.  OMG why have I never used this before?  Usually I buy all the materials for a project, sand for 8 minutes, get bored, pour a glass of wine and then purchase a new throw pillow online to make myself feel better about my failure.

But this stuff is the answer to my dreams - NO SANDING!  Pretty lame dreams, huh?

I have a bunch of these chairs. They were the chairs to my parents dining room table they had when I was growing up.  They have been recovered no less than 298 times by my mother but once I inherited them (much to my husband's dismay - where were we going to put like 10 chairs?) I knew that they would look really cute painted different colors (and recovered). I think this first attempt proved I was right. 

I've got several more to go.  I have visions of doing them in a rainbow of colors.  I have nowhere to put them though. Maybe I'll give them out as Christmas gifts to random people next year?

Madonna, who?

I risked my sanity last week and took my 3 children on a road trip BY MYSELF.  You know what?  We survived...barely.

5 hours and 9.2 million crumbs in my car later, we arrived in Oklahoma City for a visit with my family.  Surprisingly the only time I wanted to wrangle the necks of any of my children was during this conversation:

Scene: Imagine the most lovely singing voice on the planet. Sort of like an angel singing at the top of her lungs trying to regain her youth. (in case you couldn't tell, that was dripping with sarcasm.  I was blessed with my parents' singing voice.  It is NOT pretty)

Me: "You must be my Lucky Star
'Cause you shine on me wherever you are
I just think of you and I start to glow
And I need your light
And baby you know" 

Now imagine the snotty-iest, most obnoxiously pre-teen accusing voice you can think of. Very similar to nails on a chalkboard.

9 Year old daughter: "UM, WHO sings this song???"

Me: It's Madonna.

9 Year old daughter: Humph, never heard of her. Can we turn on some Taylor Swift?

SMACK!

Okay I didn't really smack her simply because that wouldn't be safe while driving 80 MPH down the highway.

Baby on the run, er crawl

You turn your back for 1 second...

I guess I should be glad that he is 17 months old and still crawls otherwise he would have been 1/2 way to Missouri by the time I caught him.

Note1: If you knew where I lived you would find that last comment hilariously funny - we live in Kansas but 5 houses from the State Line of Missouri.

Note2: If you can't find me for a few days, check the local jail.  A policeman drove by and looked at me very suspiciously as my baby was crawling dangerously close to the street and I stood there laughing & taking pictures.

My Funny Valentine

This came home from school last week with my 6 year old. Apparently they were clearing out their desks and he found this gem.

I guess I should just be happy that I've been noticed and he no longer thinks a laundry fairy washes his Sponge Bob tighty whiteys and places them neatly into his drawer.

Juan Pab-no!!

Okay, I watch the Bachelor.  If you asked me face to face I probably wouldn't admit it, I'd say something like "oh yeah I've seen it a few times here and there" vs. yes, I've seen every damn episode every damn season (truth). Wow, that is much easier to admit to my computer than to your face.

Last night was the season finale and thank God for that. I need a break. Juan Pablo has proven to me that looks only go so far.  I used to think he was hot but now when I see his face I break out in itchy red hives - I'm thinking I'm allergic to jackassed-ness.

He chose (sort of) Nikki from Kansas City (holla!).  I'm assuming she is a lovely person as she works at Children's Mercy. Because all of the experiences we have had there have been amazing, I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt and I hope that she will do Kansas City a solid by dumping him soon. 

As horrible as this entire season was I could. not. stop. watching.  It was like driving by a car wreck and you just have to look - however, this car wreck had a huge fiery explosion and a parade of tie-dyed elephants walking through the middle with martians belly dancing on their backs.

There were two times during the After the Final Rose part of the show where I 100% truly thought they were going to come out and say "just kidding you've been punk'd! This was all a joke!" Nikki's facial expressions at several different points made it seem like this was all a big crock and some of the things Juan Pablo said were so moronic that there is no way any human being who uttered them would be able to put on his own shoes.

I know there are lots of people who believe all of this is fake and scripted, but I'm one of the losers who doesn't so just let me live in my dumb fantasy.  Anywho, he is awful and it is over and that is all I am going to say on the matter. Let's pretend this never happened and I won't mention it again. (Well until Monday May 19th when the Bachelorette starts)
 

Whoa, where'd she come from?

Okay so really truly I am back this time.  Not like those silly other times where I said I was coming back to blogging and, well, I didn't.

So here's a recap:

Went to work for a cuckoo crazy person for about a year.  She lost her marbles (and her company) and so I left. She owes me several thousand dollars so if you see her, send her my way.

I then went back to work for the company I had worked for before cuckoo crazy person.  

I worked there for about 2.5 years (previously I had worked there for about 8 years). They called me one day and told me they wanted me to do the same amount of work I had been doing (which admittedly wasn't a ton) for 60% less salary. Yep, not super on board with that so I'm no longer there.

In the meantime I had a baby, bought a new house and one of our dogs died.

Now you are caught up, let's carry on.