June 27, 2011

My 4 year old pimp

My son just turned four and he is really cute - as all four year old boys are. However he has a skill that I'm not sure many kids his age have mastered yet - picking up women. 

I was getting him from school one day a few months back and his teacher was cracking up. She explained she had a doozie of a story for me. She wasn't lying.

Apparently she was sitting next to Zach at lunch and he was quietly munching on his PB&J sandwich. All of a sudden he turned to her and said "heeeey girrrrl" (I wish my computer could talk to you so you could hear the perfect R&B sweet slow talk he did it in.)  The teacher, not knowing if she had heard him correctly said, "excuse me Zachary what did you just say?" 

Zachary, "I said, heeeey girrrrrl.  That is what my daddy told me I should say to the ladies."

After I hung up with my divorce attorney I fell all over myself apologizing to her that my son was trying to pick her up.  Thank God for her being her because she thought it was hilarious and actually had to excuse herself from the table to bust out laughing in the hallway.  She then proceeded to tell all the other teachers about it and now as they pass one another in the halls they all shout out "heeey girrrrl". 
Nice legacy for the Gedmans to leave behind at our little Christian preschool.

Fast forward to a few days ago when my husband (ok, I didn't kick him out after that incident but believe me he is walking on thin ice here) and Zachy went to Best Buy.  A sales girl came up to them and started discussing whatever item they were there to purchase.  At a lull in the conversation she bent down to Zach and said "Hi cutie, what's your name?"

His response? "I'm Zach", then lazily points his thumb at my husband and said "this is Dan." 

She ate that up and Dan was pretty sure at that point he could have taken her behind the refrigerator section and had his way with her.  He said Zach is the best wing man he's ever had. Nice.

Can't wait to see what he is like at 16.

June 9, 2011

Have you ever moved 4 people and 2 dogs by yourself? I have

Wow, I'm the worst person back from hiatus ever.  But I have an excuse, actually like 401 of them.  Here goes:

1) Decided on a Monday we were going to rent our house out instead of sell it.  Had to find renters.
2) Found them by Wednesday. Realized on Thursday we had to move out so they could move in.
3) Found movers.
4) They came 7 days later.
5) However, 4 days after we knew we were moving but 3 days before movers were coming we had 30 people at our house for end of year soccer party.  "Welcome to our home, do you mind packing that glass after you use it? Thanks much!" 
6) Husband was out of town for work 95% of this time.
7) Parents Day Out ends for son, so he is home - husband out of town, so he is not. I had to pack.
8) Son got stomach flu and threw up for 4 days.
9) Daughter's last day of school came the day before the big move. Lots of end of school yearish things to attend.
10) Movers came.  Was not prepared.  Was stuffing random doll shoes and dog brushes in boxes as they were carrying them out to the truck.
11) Husband was back in town but had a video shoot on day of said move - NO HELP.
12) Moved to new house. Had to get kids rooms sleepable in about a two hour period.
13) Side note - son walked into new house and exclaimed "Wow, what a lame house!"  Then he went on excitedly talking about how lame everything was. I'm thinking he didn't quite know the meaning of that word. At least I'm hoping he didn't because I've been killing myself here trying to move us all into the home where all of their childhood memories will be held. Ungrateful kid...
14) Husband stepped on a rusty nail day 2 of new home had to get a tetnus shot. I had to unpack.
15) I stabbed myself with a rusty sewing needle day 3 of new home, had to get a tetnus shot. I had to unpack.
16) Son stepped on a carpet tack day 4 of new home- luckily dr. said he has had his tetnus shot. I had to unpack.
17) Still waiting on E to do something that merits a tetnus shot- hasn't happened yet. She is always the showoff.
18) Son turned 4.  Earned worst parents of the year award by ignoring his bday on the actual day because we were having carpet installed that day. Thankfully he can't read a calendar. Had a grand family celebration the next day though.  I figure it really worked in his favor since he had to stop sucking his thumb on his 4th birthday - so he got an extra day
19) Held a bday party for 8 of his closest friends four days after said birthday
20) Had a BBQ at the new house for about 12 people for a work thing for my husband.
21) Have been actively looking for a new job through all of this.  Have actually applied to several and have two interviews next week.
22) Have had no cable or tv this entire time as we haven't decided which route we want to go with our service so have had to entertain the children in between unpacking boxes filled with couch pillows and lawn chemicals. 
23) Interview about 20 people for an article I am writing for a local magazine.
24) Drink. Heavily.  That one is self explanatory.
Whew! Okay, so maybe it is only like 24 excuses but I still think I have been one busy person. Sorry.  Really I am going to get back to blogging. Try and carry on all of you my loyal readers (dad), I know it will be hard but it will be worth the wait. Thanks!!!