March 11, 2014

Juan Pab-no!!

Okay, I watch the Bachelor.  If you asked me face to face I probably wouldn't admit it, I'd say something like "oh yeah I've seen it a few times here and there" vs. yes, I've seen every damn episode every damn season (truth). Wow, that is much easier to admit to my computer than to your face.

Last night was the season finale and thank God for that. I need a break. Juan Pablo has proven to me that looks only go so far.  I used to think he was hot but now when I see his face I break out in itchy red hives - I'm thinking I'm allergic to jackassed-ness.

He chose (sort of) Nikki from Kansas City (holla!).  I'm assuming she is a lovely person as she works at Children's Mercy. Because all of the experiences we have had there have been amazing, I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt and I hope that she will do Kansas City a solid by dumping him soon. 

As horrible as this entire season was I could. not. stop. watching.  It was like driving by a car wreck and you just have to look - however, this car wreck had a huge fiery explosion and a parade of tie-dyed elephants walking through the middle with martians belly dancing on their backs.

There were two times during the After the Final Rose part of the show where I 100% truly thought they were going to come out and say "just kidding you've been punk'd! This was all a joke!" Nikki's facial expressions at several different points made it seem like this was all a big crock and some of the things Juan Pablo said were so moronic that there is no way any human being who uttered them would be able to put on his own shoes.

I know there are lots of people who believe all of this is fake and scripted, but I'm one of the losers who doesn't so just let me live in my dumb fantasy.  Anywho, he is awful and it is over and that is all I am going to say on the matter. Let's pretend this never happened and I won't mention it again. (Well until Monday May 19th when the Bachelorette starts)

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