April 2, 2014

Rhea Lana addict

Hi, my name is Robin and I am a Rhea Lana addict.

In the beginning it was pretty harmless. My first time, I just happened upon the Rhea Lana sale in the old Macy's Home Store in the Prairie Village shops.  I got some great bargains, ran into a few friends - a good time was had by all.

Over the next few years I continued to shop the sale as it got bigger and bigger and I always left pleased with the great stuff I scored.  All was kosher, life was good. I was naive.

About a year and a half ago my friend Alisha convinced me to become a consignor and that is when things took a serious turn.

My addiction starts out innocently enough each time. Throughout the year as I put laundry away no one really notices the shirt or two I nonchalantly stick into the Rhea Lana labeled bucket at the back of their closet.  About a month ahead of the sale is when things really start to ramp up.  Those buckets come out, our living room is taken hostage by me and I iron/tag/bundle/ziploc items like a mad woman.  Drop off day is my super bowl and I feel like I've lost ten pounds when I drive out of the warehouse free of boat loads of Polly Pockets and girls dresses size 4 - 6.

Life actually resumes as normal for a day or so

and then

ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE

Rhea Lana Opening Day
Phone must be 1,000% charged (yes I do know that is impossible) at noon on Day 1 of the sale. Oh how I will have a love/hate relationship with my phone over the next few days.

This is pretty typical of how it goes each sale:

12:03 PM - Check my phone for instant update on sales.  At this point I do realize there in 0% chance I have sold anything considering the sale has been open for only 3 minutes but what if???  Nope. Nada. My account is in the red $9.00.

12:17 - Check again.  Nothing.  Make a vow to myself not to be so ridiculously obsessive this time about checking my sales.  After all, I do have 3 kids and other things to do with my time.

12:38 - Fail at said vow.  Still nothing.  What the heck??? Why have I not made eleventy million dollars yet?

12:39 - 1:30 - Busy myself with silly things like laundry and mopping the floor.

1:31 - Steal a look at my phone. I'm about to have a melt down, why has no one purchased that adorable striped H&M dress?  There HAS got to be a little girl out there who seriously needs a Hello Kitty cell phone and matching sunglasses set. Apparently the boys in this town do not like Legos anymore?

2:11 - Refresh phone.  Still zilch.  We are at a level orange threat here.  What if I screwed something up and there was a computer glitch and ALL my stuff really wasn't entered? Is this a dream??                                                                                                   I. CANNOT. HANDLE. THIS.

I need to get a grip.

The next few hours are a blur of picking the baby up from Mother's Day Out, getting the big kids from school, running various children around town to soccer practices at two different locations, distractedly talking to other parents about who knows what (I sort of remember someone one saying something about world hunger, blah, blah, blah - people do you not understand that I have 6 Old Navy bathing suits that will not be sold if I do not check my phone at this precise moment? This is a real problem.) Amazingly I hold strong in not peeking at my sales. There are two reasons for this:

1) It is seriously unsafe to be engross myself in my phone when I'm driving like 80 children in my car 

2) I know the pay off will be huge if I can just hold off for a few hours and let the sales pile up

4:22 - I'm home, older children are where they need to be, baby is munching on veggie straws. Time to check. I'm trembling as I swipe the green bar across my phone.

WOO HOO!  We're in the money! We're in the money!
The most beautiful words I've ever seen are before me: Congratulations! Your 70% share of Total Sales is $10.90!

You have never seen a human being so happy to have made $11.00. I have paid my $9 fee AND am in the black now.  It's smooth sailing from here people.  I'm elated and my blood pressure returns to a level that is no longer hospital worthy.

Dinner gets started and kids come home from soccer and I walk around with a stupid grin on my face. Homework is being worked on and the baby is contentedly playing with a soccer ball. With everyone preoccupied I get really lost in my phone at this point.

What items sold? Oh great the adorable sailor outfit is gone (hmmm maybe I'm sad about that.  Baby was so cute in it. Should I have sold that or should I have kept it for his kids?) - wait but why oh why has no one purchased the Spider Man computer?  Do they not know what a great deal it is? What is going on people???

A funky smell pulls me out of my spell.  Oh it's the baby. It would be a whole lot easier to feed my addiction if you could change yourself, kid.  Fine I will take a break and change your diaper.  There, done.  Now back to my phone - oh my gosh I made $4.70 during that diaper break. Awesome. Now what was it that sold?

Again, I'm lost in my Rhea Lana la la land...

What is that you say, children?  Our house is on fire?  Yes, we should call 911 and get out. Give me just one tiny second to refresh my browser. Score! The Barbie purse has sold! Alrighty, everyone stop, drop and roll. 

6:07 - Firemen let us back in the house, kids get fed, homework is completed, baths are taken and people go to bed (and let's be honest phone was checked no less than 346 times).

With everyone's needs taken care of I finally get a chance to really be one with my sales.  I decide to switch to my computer because the screen is bigger and I can really dig into what has/has not sold.

My husband gives up on me and goes downstairs to watch a movie as I spend my evening furiously texting back and forth with my friends Alisha and Lindsey. We feel the need to update one another every 7 1/2 minutes on what has sold, how much we have made and our predictions for what tomorrow will bring.

I go to bed at 10:00 and dream of the sales I will wake up to in the morning because I know the check out line is still long and every person in it has at least one of my items in their laundry basket turned shopping cart.

4:17 AM  - huge thunder clap! I'm up, might as well check my sales.  Oh yeah!! I made $6.30 while I slept! How productive were you while you were sleeping, huh?

Day 2
See Day 1 - same thing different day

Day 3, 4, 5
And so on and so forth

Alisha's husband suggested we go to Rhea Lana-hab so we can detox after this. Yeah, not gonna happen I'm too busy attacking those closets for Fall items.

My name is Robin and I'm a Rhea Lana addict and I'm okay with that.

8 comments:

  1. That was my life yesterday exactly!! Except I was also checking my sales while finding great buys at the sale! Maybe we need a RL Addicts group - you know, like AA, but we would only hold group during the sale and instead of talking about our addictions, we would sit in circle, eat cake, and constantly monitor our phones!

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    1. My neighbor suggested we all sit together and drink wine and watch sales. I think that coupled with cake might be the best idea EVER.

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  2. I loved reading every second of this. Laughed a lot. Thanks for writing! : ) -Mel

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    1. I'm so glad Mel! I hope you will stop by and read more often!

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  3. This is so cute AND TRUE! I only consigned 25ish items with one being a high chair (big money!) & yet I have checked my phone no less than 1,000 times expecting a million dollars. The reality is that I could only possibly make something like $150ish dollars at 70%. Oh well, I still check:)

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    1. I hear you! It is truly amazing to me on how excited I get each time my sales move up like $3.00. Who gets giddy over $3? Apparently me...

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  4. I can't tell you how many times I really lol'd. Your a funny gal with a great sense of humor and just for that I'm committing 100% to "just do it" , I mean I have over 6 years of laundry baskets just like yours. IT'S TIME TO CONSIGN!

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  5. It is time. You can do it. And you can join our wine/cake, um I mean, support group!

    Thanks for reading. Come back to anytime. A lot of dumb things happen around here :).

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